Cool tricks I can live without (you maddeningly cute little buggers)

1.  When sitting half-awake next to your toddler who has woken up at 2 am insisting that he needs to poop, it is not quite as amusing as he thinks it is to show you how far his foreskin can stretch, or that he can make it "turtle" in the other direction.  Mommy made it this far without seeing and/or knowing this and was fine.  Mommy also doesn't think it is that hilarious that you just put your penis on Dora's head (Dora potty ring).

2.  Asking coyly if I had noticed her cool trick, my DD tries to get me to play sartorial 20 questions in the middle of Target.  Failing miserably (and crabbily), she takes pity on me and reveals that she didn't just get dressed, she got dressed over her pajamas and is, in fact, wearing two cozy layers.  This goes some way toward explaining why she wasn't freezing cold during the car ride to the store despite her refusal to wear a coat in 20 degree weather, and also why she didn't, like every other time we go to the store, complain that the refrigerated section was giving her frostbite.  Snazzy!

 3.  DS is learning what all he can do with his body (see #1 above), including his increasing ability to jump, hop, run, and so forth.  This means that I am called to witness all sorts of "stunts" -- ranging from hopping from legs together to legs apart (ooh!), running over and hanging off the footrail on the bed (ergh - don't break that/hurt yourself), and running in with both legs through one leg-hole of his shorts.  That last one cracked him up no end, and he insisted on going to bed dressed that way.  Thankfully he must have gotten uncomfortable at some point, because in the morning he was wearing his longjohn bottoms -- inside-out and backwards, but otherwise on correctly.

Lost and Found Department

Lost:  one Sense of Humor.  Well-broken-in but prone to wandering.  Last seen skittering down the hallway at work or lurking in the studio corner of my bedroom.  If seen, please do not attempt to capture it.  Toss it some double entendres, a crossword puzzle, and chocolate truffles, and wait for help to arrive.  Do not make eye contact or it will start telling you knock-knock jokes to distract you from the escape tunnel it is digging.  Just keep it talking to keep a fix on its location; dirty jokes work best.